Ego
by Adventuresomely
Summary: Shatter the Nightmare Rock and bring forth the light. Your Ego will try to hinder you, but there will always be friends by your side to help you through it all.


The ego.

When people refer to it, they're often talking about someone who's egotistical and selfish, but what is it truly? It's not always what it seems, the ego is much deeper than someone who is selfish and conceited. The ego actually refers to our deepest desires within our subconscious; our most primordial fears and unacceptable feelings. It is our darkest side and it is also the force within us that drives everything we do. It is the source of all evil and it is also the source of all greatness just the same.

In each person lies an ego. It both empowers us to do many things, as well as hinders us from reaching our true potential. Our fears are what bind us to the same path we always follow, not allowing us to reach out and deviate in a different direction when it's necessary. Our fears are what bend and break us, causing many to tremble when a situation becomes out of their control. As it's been told so many times before, however; there is little to fear except fear itself.

What would happen, then, if you could face your own ego and see it for what it truly was; a monster inside your head, waiting to attack you when you're at your weakest? What would happen if you could face your nightmares once and for all, and let out all of your true potential that is held back by self-doubt? Some would say you would no longer feel desire to push yourself and that you would deteriorate into nothingness. Others would say that you would become an enlightened being who is one with God Himself.  
What if neither of these prospects was true?

The Sea of Eden: the beginning and the end.

I stand now before the golden statue that sits upon the raised platform, in the middle of the swamp-like center of my mind. Every so often droplets of water drip down from stalactites that hung from the cave-like top, breaking my concentration for just a moment. The entirety of the area seemed tense, buzzing with energy of both positive and negative natures. It was so overwhelming, it made my head pound painfully and my stomach do a few sickening twists. It was as though I was being pulled down and suffocated ever so slowly and painfully.

The statue seemed to glare down at me with its red eyes, commanding me to bow before it and bend to its will, as the ego often does. It was hard to not give in then and there; I felt helplessly weak and unable to do anything. I was so terribly scared, and it was only made worse when inside my head, a deep and menacing voice echoed, causing me to quiver from where I stood.

'You cannot defeat me, for you are the one that forced me into being.'

I couldn't move. I was too afraid and could feel myself slipping further into despair. All because I could feel through my body that it was right. Of course the Nightmare was right; I was controlled by my fear and couldn't fight back against what was causing it. If I couldn't even fight back against what terror I'd created myself, how could I have ever expected to fight the ultimate evil of the universe and succeed? How could I ever have been so dumb to let my friends go this entire way when we were doomed to fail from the start? My knees buckled under me as seemingly every negative thought entered my mind.  
I'd let myself unknowingly fall victim to the Nightmare's influence, not realizing that these thoughts were not my own, merely fears of failure and a lack of self-confidence. I had let myself give in because I didn't believe I was strong enough for my friends, for my family, or for the world.

I had let myself give in because I wasn't good enough. Why would I be? I was only a thirteen year old boy who had the responsibility of the entire world thrust upon his shoulders. How could anyone expect me to succeed?

I started to cry. Sobs violently wracked my body as I remained on my knees, burying my face in my hands. The malevolent Nightmare continued to glare down at me, seemingly boring right through my entire being with its gaze. I was an absolute, pathetic mess that I hated so truly at that moment, more than I'd ever hated anyone before. If anyone besides the statue could've seen me, I was so sure they would've called me a pathetic leader, not strong enough to do anything and definitely not worth being one of the Chosen Four. I was weak.

A dark mist materialized next to me and just as quickly faded away, leaving behind in its wake a golden sword. The Nightmare then spoke to me again, calling out to me now that I was at my absolute lowest.

'End yourself, for you are not worthy.'

It was telling me to kill myself. It was telling me to end it all because I was too weak to carry this burden on any longer. In any normal state of mind, I would have refused. Yet the way it gleamed in the light shining from above, it begged me to pick it up and end all of my problems in one swift movement. It begged me to give in entirely because I was only a hindrance to my friends now. I had no purpose because I couldn't fulfill my mission, anyway.

Shaking with fear and from my sobs, I reached out and took the sword into my hand. Nobody would miss a pathetic fool like me, in the end, I decided as I brought it close and pointed the tip to my chest. Nobody could miss a weak idiot. Over and over again, that was the only thing I could think of…

_**"Stop!"**_

I was so startled out of my thoughts that I dropped the sword and it clattered to the ground, disappearing in the same dark mist it had appeared in. That voice… It sounded like…

It sounded like Paula.

_**"What do you think you're doing?!"**_

The voice was actually… Scolding me? Paula was scolding me and she sounded thoroughly pissed off. Why was she so angry, though? I couldn't understand at that moment why she would be angry that I'd almost put an end to my miserable existence.

_****__**"Are you just going to let it win and twist your thoughts?"**_

The voice was softer that time. Twist… My thoughts? At that moment, as cliché as it might sound, something clicked inside my head and I suddenly realized my current thoughts were not my own. It was the Nightmare trying to do me in with its influence and manipulation! My own fear had turned me on myself! How had I let myself slip into that amount of despair without keeping mind that my friends had been nothing but supportive of me before? How could I have forgotten my friends, who were more important to me than anything?

_**"Ness, we love you…Don't give up, please!"**_

That's right…They do love me, for all my flaws and imperfections. They love me even though I have my moments of weakness and times when I doubt myself. They love me because of who I am and no matter how I might act, they would never stop loving me just because I have my down days. They had only ever been supportive of me during our adventure, so why should I give up now when we were so close to the end? No, I couldn't give up now… They were depending on me to make it out alive so we could save the world!

_"Go on, make us proud!"_

The voice was starting to fade away now, but I'd heard enough to know I had to keep trying even after I'd been knocked down. I had to be the unsinkable leader now most of all! For my friends…For my mom, my dad, my sister, too… For everyone I cared about, I had to pick myself up now, most of all.

And so, I did just that. I picked myself up off of my knees and glared at the Nightmare rock, drawing closer to it.

"You don't scare me anymore."

A crack formed along one of its arms and I couldn't help the somewhat triumphant grin that spread across my lips. I was getting somewhere.

"Why should I be scared of you and let you control me?"

Another crack, on the nightmare's other arm. It never budged an inch but I was feeling stronger and more confident with every blow I made.

"I don't have anything to be scared of because my family and friends love me and nothing will change that!"

My voice was getting stronger too, rising almost to a shout. A crack split across its face and a light started to spill outward from it.

"You're only a nightmare, and nightmares don't exist!"

That was the final blow as the rock shattered, the whole room filling with light and a wonderful sense of relief I'd never felt before in my life. All of my fears and emotional burdens seemed to fade away and I was left with a sense of happiness. I was left feeling like I could do anything I tried my best at and I felt an amazing energy flooding into me.

I'd done it.

I made it out for my friends, my family, and for the entire world. I'd destroyed my ego.

I'd overcome my fears once and for all.


End file.
